Etiquette In Business and Hospitality

All it takes is seven seconds to tell who the other person is, that everlasting first impression, that can tell us if the others are trustworthy or not, good for the position he/she is applying to, and a lot more.

Etiquette has always been regarded as the book of life, the manual that teaches us how to treat others. But we would like to give it together another approach. Let us think of our year together as a journey, in which every step we will learn what is protocol and etiquette, how to walk, sit, dress, write a CV, apply for that job you have been dreaming about… and through our journey we will sit down a bit to talk about body language, and how to use this tool to reflect the most professional image, and avoid unwanted situation.

So together let us embark on this journey by answering two simple questions:

-        What is Etiquette and protocol?

-        Why do we need it in the hospitality sector?

Definition of Etiquette:

Webster Dictionary defines etiquette as follows:

“the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life”

So indeed, the code of etiquette is a reflection of society manners, and way of behavior that seems acceptable and that we need to keep up with. Hence, the need to keep a close eye on all what goes around us, and make sure we are up to date with all social updates, behavior, and codes of conducts. While making sure that we are not adapting a norm that is strange to our core beliefs.

The French derived word etiquette means “ticket” or “label”, and this should bring to our attention that we are labeled by our actions and by the way we talk and present ourselves, eventually we are labeled by our etiquette.

“Examples on the usage of the word Etiquette:

1-     As with any sort of etiquette, compliance is voluntary but suggested.— 

Sarah Martens, Better Homes & Gardens, 5 Sep. 2022

2-     Adams’s objectivity isn’t a lack of emotion, but more a kind of etiquette.— 

Philip Kennicott, Washington Post, 27 June 2022

This month's unusually public firing of TV content chief Peter Rice stunned Hollywood insiders, aghast by what seemed a graceless breach of industry etiquette, and spooked Disney shareholders who knocked the stock down nearly 4%.— Nicole Gull Mcelroy, Fortune, 16 June2022”

well, what really is Etiquette?

It is very simple, meet someone and leave an impression, it is when you make sure your manners fit the crowd, it is when you excel in greeting others, and being a great host.

It is about building relationships, based on what other measure us with.

People measure us by the way we dress, talk, and act.

So, since we now already know how people measure us, it is time to use this skill in our advantage, and make sure we master all these three aspects, to be able to build successful relationship with others, these relationships will help us get the job we dream of, and help us get the promotion we so desire, and make that significant other see how confident we are

How to build the perfect relationship:

If you find yourself successful in your relationship with others, or even if you find yourself failing to do so, it is only due to the three major elements we spoke about:

“Appearance, Speech, Actions”

Appearance:

you are invited to a wedding, you hit the showers, you visit the hairdresser, you put on your fanciest clothes, shine your shoes, and wear the nicest perfume… and then you are all set.

we do this so that we leave an impression, to blend in with crowd at least and not look outside the Etiquette zone.

same applies to when we want to play football, go the beach, or have some drinks on a casual Saturday. The general derived code of grooming and appearance is within the majority selection, and our role is to understand this and make sure we reflect the image we need to reflect.

This teaches us that we can speak a lot about ourselves without having the need to do so, we can dress the words we want to say, and reflect the image we want to reflect. So, think about this next time you are going out, and next time you are going to a job interview. Always remember that your appearance is the first thing people see, and the first judgment they will make about you.

Example:

walk into a car dealership, wearing a fancy suite, and you walk in the next day wearing shorts and sandals.

How did the sales man treat you at every time? Well the answer to your question, is the importance of appearance on building relationships.

Appearance is also about mastering your body language,

enter a room with your head high, wide shoulders, and walk with a purpose and confidence.

This will tell a lot about you, and differentiate you from the one who walks with head pinned on the floor.

master the way you sit, walk, or use your hands to illustrate, master all of those, and then you will master being the best appearing individual on the platform.

Actions:

don’t tell me that you love me, instead, show me that you do..

I am sure some of us might have crossed this phrase, which is very true. Actions do speak louder than words, so think of the next time you look away from a person who is talking to you, or the next time you are invited to a meeting and you decide you want to show up late.

People also measure us by the way we act, even the smallest gestures are effective, when we remember to send a birthday note, or like a picture, send flowers, or even share an article for a friend. All these will reflect positively, and will make others like us, and ultimately by doing so. We will be building and strengthening our relationships with other will a small effort.

Words:

Once it gets out of your mouth, the word is not yours anymore, so think a lot before letting people hear what you are thinking, make sure you arrange your words, make sure you express yourself in a calm and understandable manner, always remembering the affect of words on others and its reflection to your image.

therefore, while talking we need to always remember that it isn’t just the content of our speech, it is the tone, rate, and the way we say our words.

You do not need to be googling every thing you want to say to sound smart or exquisite, keep it simple and clear and people will see how a great conversation they are having with you, and your words will leave a mark on others that will leave a longer positive expression.

What else is required for successful relationships with others:

It is not enough for us to look and act nice, or to say nice words. Building relationships with people has personal pillars that needs to be nourished within, and it should be imbedded in our characters as individuals.

We are talking about being sincere in what we do, being truthful in how act, and be considerate to others.

·        Sincerity and Honesty:

Even the gestures of kindness can look fake if we do not truly mean them, and believe or not people can feel and measure your sincerity in what you say or do, and this will reflect on your efforts in being genuine, and ultimately will affect your relationships. No one wants to be deemed fake, and no one would like to hear people talking behind his/her back that this person is not sincere.

So think about your actions and words as if you are reflecting them to someone you really love, and when you learn to act sincerely, it would be only then where your efforts will start paying off.

·        Consideration:

A firm hand shake is a decent way to show respect, yet in some cultures it isn’t the case.

Sharing your stories of the best Sushi shop in town is OK, but it isn’t if the crowd consists of someone who cannot afford it.

Being considerate means that we should always think of others before ourselves, I know it might sound an act of saints, but consideration is a must, always remember to identify who you are talking to, and what is acceptable and what isn’t before you say or do anything.

·        Respect:

Any relationship that is built on respect and honesty is a successful one, whether it is your relation with your coworkers, managers, clients, or your significant other. Always hold the highest regards of respect in what you do or show, always remember how much people value honesty. And it would be evident to you that once you hold respect and honesty as your personal “label” people will love more to talk to you with ease knowing that they will get the answers they are looking for, and with all due respect.

Soft Skills, and the importance of etiquette in hospitality and business:

So far, we have learned about the importance of building relationships with others, and also what are the pillars and the needed criteria for successful relations, all in order to practice proper etiquette with others and maintain our label as we want it to be.

But some people have these traits and skills and some don’t. How come? And are these skills something I can acquire and learn?

The answer is a simple and a big YES. These are called SOFT SKILLS, and they involve many segments and skills that we need to learn and master, in order to have the best relationships with others and practice the best etiquette.

But, what is the importance of learning Soft skills and Etiquette in the hospitality and business sector?

Just think of the following scenario:

“Rabih and Jad both graduated from the same college with the exact same grades, both took same courses and went through the same internship.

But Rabih is different from Jad, he always dresses nice and smell nice, he is considerate to his colleagues’ feelings, he is truthful and well respected. Whereas Jad on the other hand is an introvert who speak very little, and hold a funky appearance.

So when the time comes for both of them to apply for a Job, you as an HR manager, who will you hire?

I am sure you will hire Rabih”

This is a small but very clear and simple example on the importance having these soft skills, and mastering etiquette in our lives, and many similar examples can reflect the importance of etiquette in dealing with clients, guests, and colleagues.

By identifying soft skills and trying to learn and master, we will be able to give ourselves a code to the game of hiring, promotions, and accelerating the pace of our careers and life relationships.

Soft skills will remain with us wherever we go, and will even be a protective shield to our reputation whilst we are not around.

Any one can learn to flip a burger, open a bottle of wine, sauté the vegetables, or fix the sheets on the tables. But very few can learn to do all of these with a genuine sincere smile with a winning etiquette.